Deepening Friendships with Truth

The other day, I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends. We were talking about the transitions our bodies are going through at this stage in life—how powerful and frustrating these perimenopausal years can be. There was a beautiful balance between celebrating this phase and acknowledging the challenges that come with it.

She showed me a photo taken of her and her husband that day.

“Look how round my face is,” she said. “My face isn’t normally that round.”

I looked at the photo, and she was right. The angle and lighting had made her face look rounder than it actually was.

So I told her the truth: it was a great photo, and yes, her face looked rounder in the picture than when she was standing right in front of me.

Sure, I could’ve just told her she looked great and left it at that—and she looked beautiful—but I felt it was more important to honor what she saw and felt. I wanted to validate her experience, not dismiss it.

She thanked me. We both recognized how easy it would’ve been for me to say, “What are you talking about? You look amazing!” and try to gloss over her comment with a quick reassurance.

But here’s the thing—that kind of response, though well-meaning, can make someone feel a little bit crazy.

Why do we do that? Why do we avoid the truth in the name of comfort, when all someone really wants is to feel seen?

Truths Help You Be Seen

We do this to each other a lot. Someone asks how we’re doing, and instead of saying, “It’s been a rough day, thanks for asking,” we say, “I’m good, fine, living the dream.” And in doing so, we miss a moment of real connection.

When we don’t tell the truth in these little moments, we dip our toes into the pool of “crazy-making.” The person who noticed your energy shift or sensed something off is now left questioning their intuition, their empathy, and their willingness to connect.

Let’s stop doing that to each other.

Let’s be brave enough to tell the truth, especially in the small moments, because that’s where connection lives. That’s where we remind each other that you’re not alone, and what you feel is real.

So here’s a gentle challenge for you:

1. When someone shares something vulnerable, validate it.

Don’t rush to fix it, brush it off, or offer a positive spin. Just let them know you see what they’re seeing, feel what they’re feeling, and that it makes sense.

2. When someone asks how you’re doing, be honest.

Even if it’s just a little more honest than usual. “It’s been a tough day,” or “I’m feeling a little off,” is enough. That small moment of truth doesn’t just support you—it validates the other person’s empathy and their natural desire to connect with you in a meaningful way. It says, yes, you read the room right, and yes, your care matters.

Honesty Builds Trust

You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just have to be real.

And that realness—that brave little spark of honesty—is what builds trust. It’s what deepens our relationships. It’s what makes people feel safe with us.

We don’t need to perform or pretend to be “fine” all the time. In fact, it’s often the cracks where the light gets in.

The more we can show up as we truly are, the more we give others permission to do the same. And in a world that’s often rushing past the real stuff, that kind of presence is a gift.

So be real. Be soft. Be honest.