The grief we feel when we lose a loved one is not something that there’s an antidote for.

It is a tough time on the body, mind and spirit. Oftentimes, there is a lot of avoidance in facing and understanding grief. I’d like to share with you what I have learned through observances and experience with this feeling.

Grief as an Energy Shift

We are all spiritual, energetic beings having a human experience. And, recalling what we were taught with The Law of Energy: “energy can neither be created nor destroyed; rather, it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another.”

So, when your loved one transforms (dies) and their energy shifts to a pure energetics form, you can still feel them as if they were alive, but you can’t see them like you could before and it’s shocking to your system. 

We call this Grief.

Grief as a Signal

Somewhere along the way, we forgot this feeling is a signal our loved ones are with us.

They are no longer contained inside a human body and are free to move about. Omnipresent: capable of being by your side anytime and also not trapped here.

The reason why grief is intense in the beginning is because we don’t understand what is happening. It is shocking to our physical and mental form.

They’re trying to communicate with us in new/different ways: dreams, pictures, things that stand out, birds or animals in nature, lyrics that get stuck in our heads, songs on the radio, movies that just “happened to be on,” and many other forms.

Until we recognize that, the communication comes through as grief.

Signals that stand out

Not long ago, a dear friend of mine passed away unexpectedly. At his funeral, the color red popped out at me so many times it became undeniable that this was his signal to me. 

On most days, red is a color that blends in with my day, and I hardly notice it. On other days, the red in my kitchen curtains, catches my attention. I can’t seem to stop looking at it. Or, anything with the color red really begins to stand out: a red pen, someone’s red shirt, everything seems to have red in it.

On these days, I know my friend is with me. Sometimes, he has a message to share. Other times, he wants me to know he’s around. Like those casual days of running to each other at the gas station, saying hello, checking in on how the kids were doing, and going on with our day.

The Grief Shift

Shifting to an understanding that it’s not a coincidence; it’s a communication can lessen the intensity of grief. The relationship is not over.

As our energetic selves begin to learn this new energy, this new way of our loved ones being with us. We can find comfort in this new relationship.

Steps to Navigating the Signal

When you feel grief, sadness, or however you describe that deep feeling of missing someone:

• Take a few deep breaths. Feel yourself breathing down into your stomach.
• Feel the feeling.
• Say Hello to them (either out loud or in your mind)
• Look around you and see if you can determine their signal to you. This can take a few times and there can be more than one.
• The next step is whatever comes naturally for you to do. Laugh with them. Cry. Talk. Dance, or maybe you feel an instinct to do something for someone.

Energetic Allies

Find comfort in knowing you have allies on the energetic side. They love and support you always – even when they are not signaling you. You can talk with them anytime.

I have accepted that the tears streaming down my face and the heaviness in my heart is the signal that catches my attention to let me know that a loved one is near. I have learned to welcome it because I love them deeply too.

Over time, the grief subsides as the other signals begin to stand out more. There is an understanding that grief doesn’t need to always be the signal.

This is why going through the feeling is so important. You learn to navigate and maintain a relationship with your loved ones. The sense of grief can transform into other signals because you’ve opened your body, mind, and spirit to it.

On a side note, I have been doing this for many years. When my mom passed away, it was traumatic for me, and what felt even more traumatic was that I didn’t feel her. I didn’t have a good signal. The grief remained for a long time. What it took was a Reiki session, and you can read about how that helped with mom here.

Please do not be discouraged if it takes a little time. They are there. They do love you. Breathe, open your heart to the grief, and go through it.

It’s worth it.