Negative Narratives are not the only narratives holding you back

Every time I’ve written “Negative Narrative,” I’ve felt a little cringe like it isn’t quite the phrase I’m looking for.

Narratives are our internal dialogs – those things we think to ourselves. Often, we think poorly of ourselves, holding ourselves back from our true potential. However, it isn’t just the “negative” words we choose to put ourselves down that stand in the way. Sometimes it’s more subtle, and we’ve listened to it for so long it feels normal.

“I don’t” Narratives

For example, let’s say your dad often told you you were lazy, and you do not want to pass that on to your children. So, you tell yourself, “I don’t want to be like my dad.” This statement is using your energy to put out into the universe an image of your dad telling you you are lazy. In turn, you will get back the same energy in the form of a situation where you feel like you are lazy.

If you change that to “I am a supportive and loving dad.” You are putting energy into the universe of YOU being kind and supportive. Then, you will get back situations where you feel loving and supportive without all the baggage.

You can see how this dialog can be restrictive, and yet you weren’t using negative words.

“I’m fine” Narratives

What about when we tell ourselves things are good when they are not? Deep down, we know the thing we spend our energy on isn’t in line with who we are.

This happened to me a while back when I recognized I was living a particular narrative that wasn’t truthful. I couldn’t figure out why I was exhausted, hurting, and feeling like I was beating my head against a wall.

Then, I realized I was spinning this story that things were better than they were. I am all for being positive, but sometimes, if positivity keeps us from being truthful with ourselves, it can also be restrictive. In this case, I was in a toxic relationship that had me off balance.

“Part of coming into harmony with yourself is being truthful.” – Doady

Once I realized this and released the energy I was holding on to (I cried), I could see the situation a little clearer, truthfully.

I recognized that I was putting energy into thinking something was wrong with me, so I was receiving situations that challenged my sanity. When I started remembering my worth and my intelligence, I began receiving situations that built my confidence back up.

It wasn’t that I was using negative words. I was using positive comments, to band-aid a toxic situation and it was exhausting.

“I’ll deal with that later” narratives

Restrictive narratives also appear in things we avoid. Telling yourself you don’t want to deal with something (budgeting your money, avoiding conversations or people, procrastinating on tasks) puts your energy into avoiding it.

This will restrict you to situations that will repeatedly bring up whatever you are trying to avoid. Putting your energy into even the smallest step towards resolving the issue or doing the work will result in receiving situations that will help you finish the task or talk to the person successfully.

Change your Narrative

Imagine your thoughts as energy boomerangs. Whatever you radiate out there will come back to you. You can recognize what you’re putting out there by taking a look at how you talk/think.

A quick start to making changes is to bring your thoughts into your awareness and see where you are putting your energy.

If you’re putting energy into NOT being something, you’ll keep getting the opportunity to choose NOT to be whatever it is.

Try writing the “do nots” down and then writing a positive want in it’s place (like in the first restrictive narrative example).

If you’re putting your energy into avoiding, start looking for small ways to face it.

Please feel free to leave a comment or get in touch with me if you’d like to work on this more.